Don’t Call Me White!
"Don’t Call Me White!" Q: How do we address/what can we do to address the language and logic of micro-aggressions being appropriated by members of the dominant class, for example white folks talking about receiving micro-aggressions from (legitimately) angry or insistent POC? A: The question above asked [...]
Peacebuilding When We Disagree
Click here to listen to the full interview! With election season 2020 behind us, there's a lot of talk from winning candidates about opposing political sides trying to "talk" and "listen" to each other and stop demonizing each other. This PEACE TALKS RADIO program is about how to move from [...]
Transforming Racism
In this live-streamed conversation, I discuss the opportunities that NVC provides for understanding and transforming racism
An Introduction To NVC
In this video interview, I provide an introduction to Nonviolent Communication
Deeper Connections | Action for Happiness
In this video, I introduces the principles of Nonviolent Communication and how we can use these to enhance our relationships, deal constructively with conflict and create more harmonious connections. This conversation with Dr Mark Williamson was recorded at an Action for Happiness event on 28 October 2020.
Kwanzaa Reflections – Imani
Today, the last day of Kwanzaa, the first day of the New Year, we focus on the last of the Nguzo Saba, Imani - faith. Imani encapsulates the hope and promise of Kwanzaa in its celebration of African American and African-descent peoples. As we explore each of the Nguzo [...]
Kwanzaa Reflections – Kuumba
Today, the 6th day of Kwanzaa, is a day when I’m so annoyed at this extended pandemic! As we celebrate today’s principle from the Nguzo Saba, Kuumba - Creativity, I want a huge bustle of folk around me. I want to hear voices lifted in song, see someone drawing, [...]
Kwanzaa Reflections – Nia
This morning, folks in my house listened to Paul Robeson sing Ballad for Americans as we started our Kwanzaa reflections. Robeson, born in 1878, was the son of a runaway slave and an abolitionist. A man of amazing talents in every domain, he won an academic scholarship to Rutgers [...]
Kwanzaa Reflections – Ujamaa
The principle of Ujamaa - Cooperative Economics - is deeply embodied within African-American communities and communities of African-descent folks worldwide. Living from this principle is what has enabled our peoples to survive conditions where few resources were left for our use. So much of the history of the United [...]
Kwanzaa Reflections – Ujima
This morning, the third day of Kwanzaa, my teen and I discussed today’s principle of Ujima – Collective Work and Responsibility. They immediately flashed to the utter disbelief they and many youth experienced as the conflict on preventative measures to address the pandemic unfolded. Wearing a mask and social [...]
Kwanzaa Reflections – Kujichagulia
On the second day of Kwanzaa, we contemplate the principle, Kujichagulia. On the official Kwanzaa website, Kujichagulia – Self Determination – asks us “to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.” This year, I’ve had several opportunities when I’ve come face to face with some [...]
Kwanzaa Reflections – Umoja
As the year comes to a close, I've decided to share a little of my family's tradition. When my children were born, I wanted to be choiceful about the holidays we celebrated. In addition to acknowledging the traditional holidays observed in our families of origin, we wanted to find [...]
Cross Privilege Dialogues: Avoiding the Trap of Centering Yourself When You Have More Privilege
Download PDF I have a dear friend who has become a treasured empathy buddy. Once a week, we call each other and share what’s going in our world. Many times, I explore big challenges with her – my ongoing difficulty in finding meaning since my son’s death; the at [...]
How can Nonviolent Communication (NVC) be helpful in these transformative times?
Download pdfs in English, French, Italian. Even in the midst of all that is moving in the world, three experiences left me particularly shaken today. Each gave clarity about what NVC can offer in the midst of these times, and where we need to be vigilant. Here are the [...]
Empathic, Powerful Responses To COVID-19 Inequities
Download PDF COVID-19 has been devastating for people across the United States. As I read news story after story, with each conversation I had with clients, students, friends, I realized our world would never be the same. And, even more despairingly, I saw some groups bear a greater burden [...]
Viewing Needs through an Equity Lens
At a retreat, I supported a conversation between two men who had experienced a break in connection. One man of Chinese and European descent – let’s call him Chris – shared the pain he experienced growing up in a primarily European community. He shared the taunts he had experienced, [...]
Calling In, Calling Out
In NVC circles, there are several topics that are often raised when someone behaves in a way that’s painful to another person. Discussions come up about the toxicity of shame, about how feedback that’s harsh and judgmental directly counters NVC principles. People dismiss and actively seek to repress certain [...]
How Do I Love Those Who Hate Me? Answering Dr. King’s Call to Love Our Enemy
When Dr. King talked about the need to love our enemies, he identified several components to make this possible. He named developing and maintaining the capacity to forgive as a mandatory requirement to be able to love. He talked about the importance of separating the deed from the doer, [...]
Navigating the Tangle of Yes and No
My son and his high school volleyball coach had a lot of challenges. Over two seasons, I watched as the coach mockingly imitated my son in front of a large group of spectators attending a tournament and yelled at my son at almost every game. I saw my son [...]
Renewing the Dream: Using Nonviolent Communication to Answer Dr. King’s Call for Social Change
How can nonviolent communication help us return to the powerful vision of social change for which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. so strongly advocated and for which he died? How can we inspire ourselves to stand up for social change? Every time I hear stories from the civil rights [...]
Where Are You From?
"Where Are You From?" Q: I just started a new job. When I asked a coworker of Asian descent where they were from, they glared at me and said that was a microaggression. I was just trying to break the ice and don’t understand why they were upset. [...]
You’re So Articulate!
"You're so articulate!" Q: I’m a dark skinned, black person with college educated parents and a college degree. I'm met again and again with surprise from white people about the way I talk and the assumption that it means something about my intelligence and my character. What can I say to [...]
NVC – Changing Consciousness, Relationships & Systems
Roxy Manning, with Janey Skinner Nonviolent Communication (NVC) was developed, in part, because its founder, Marshall Rosenberg, was inspired by the work of Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. King and countless others who responded peacefully, yet powerfully, to vast systemic inequities and abuses. Dr. Rosenberg witnessed the transformative power that an active, [...]
Why don’t they get it?
Does this seem familiar? You’re in a meeting. Maybe it’s a workshop around equity and social justice issues, maybe it’s your community group holding a planning meeting for their next event. Pat makes a suggestion, and folks keep talking, ignoring the suggestion, proposing others. When Riley makes a similar [...]
Including All Without Excluding Any
By Ranjana Ariaratnam, David Johnson, Talli Jackson, and Roxy Manning This post, the final article in the WCI 2017 series, was written jointly by that year's trainers. This article is our invitation for you to think about inclusion and interdependence, how you have experienced them (or not) in your [...]
Tips for these uncertain times
The events that have unfolded since the election continue to stimulate a huge amount of fear in me and those around me. I’ve had many sleepless nights since November, stemming from my children wondering if Trump’s election meant half the country did not like people of color, from colleagues applying [...]
The Power of Authenticity + Care
Where in your life do you stay silent and not show up fully? What prevents you from showing up? Do you wonder if it is possible to be intensely authentic and real and yet hold care for everyone in the situation? Most of you reading this article have never [...]
Leadership Lessons from the Civil Rights Movement
My life is spent traveling between different lands. There is the land of my NVC family. This land is full of people who have abundant hope, who believe change is possible. Some focus on individual change – making their lives and the lives of people in their families and [...]
Increasing Diversity in NVC Circles
I have participated in dozens of NVC events around the world. If the gathering is in the United States or in a European country, one fact is apparent: I am often the only visible person of color present. In the US, white people have approached me several times to [...]
“I’m Not Good Enough” and Other Leadership Myths
I sat in the back of the room thinking, ‘I should say something.’ I knew the work. I had more relevant examples. I understood my community better than this outside person who wasn’t aware of all the undercurrents that eddied through the room. But I stayed silent, alternating feeling [...]